Work is not fun

You know how it was when you were kid, you always wish to grow up; to be independent or so-called free from all the rules from your parents. Well, that didn't actually happen to me. I grew up being daddy's little girl. Spoiled. I got the best life of all my siblings. When my sister and brother were young, they had to survive with 'enough' money. And I? I normally get what I want.

When I was in my university life, I was really afraid of what I were to face in the working world. But I wanted to work in the same time! How crazy is that? In short, I was lost. Unfortunately I still am.

But now I have this urge to have income on my own. I want to be able to move out from this house and be on my own. My own apartment. My own car. My own money. I know at some point I would miss people telling me what to do but I can always come back to my house for a week or so. However, if you ask me now, I want to be on my own.

As much as I hate to work, I want to live on my own. And in order to do that I have to have money. And to have money, I need to earn it.
It is so hard to figure what I really want to do. I have a degree on my hand but I suck at it. How pathetic?  I feel like marrying Hugh Hefner and never have to work and still be fabulous. But then again, I don't want to fuck him *sigh*

Keeping my finger crossed... xx

Loner part 2

I could never really finish my blog post because everytime I feel like doing it, my sister or someone would talk to me. And when they done with the talking, I just don't feel like writing anything anymore. Am I weird? I think so. How can I not want to talk to anybody?

Loner

I remember when I was in high school or during my university life, I used to be the joker of the group. I did stupid stuff. I was really cheerful. It was like as if I never ran out of energy.

But I do realize that nowadays it's different. I have had become a loner. I prefer to be on my own. I don't even listen when my sister is talking to me (which is bad). Sister don't do that to each other. I find it hard to focus on those conversation we had. I was not interested in listening. It's just not a good sign.

Well, truly I think I'm gonna blame this on him again. Ever since that incident happened, I buried myself from the social life. I prefer to be on my own, really. I'm tired of talking and relating with anybody at all. And just now I realized that I don't even want to be in a relationship. Lately I've been thinking that I need somebody by my side. A boyfriend. But hell no. I totally changed my mind now. I don't want to be with anybody. I just wanna be on my own.

Seriously. I want to be busy. So I don't have to think about all these and be miserable.

Good night xx

It gets really FUNNY

I was online and checking my Facebook as usual when I saw my friend, Unni, profile picture and I thought he look different now. But I kinda like his new look. Then I clicked on "See Friendship" feature on Facebook where you can see the history of you and one particular friend. And in this case, I'm talking bout me and Unni. I browse for the picture of me and Unni AND I saw the picture of us during prom, which brings me to a guy called Zarif.

Oh yea... Zarif. He used to be my idol or something. Well, he's totally noticeable. He's tall. He's gorgeous. He looks like Orlando Bloom. WHO doesn't interested? Anyway, that brought me to the fact that he was my prom date on 2007. I couldn't mention his name on this blog back then because I was afraid someone would read it and told him (if you are curious, you may look at the 2007 archive).

I was so star struck at that time. I couldn't even look at his face straight away. Ever since he asked me to prom, we got closer. The were rumors about us around Swinburne. After the prom, you could catch us having lunch together and all that. I like the fact that he looked for me (OMG I just realized some things... I will write about this later). I was soooooo star struck. HAHAHAHA. I couldn't stop laughing at myself now.

About the thing that hit me suddenly;
1. Zarif's favorite number is SIX. He even got it tattooed on his ankle. He made it when he was with me.
2. I said... I like the fact that he looked for me. I said that about Ian too. Guess I do like it when someone is looking for me. Make me feel special and wanted :)

This memory does sounds really funny now. Well, good night xx

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Ian Nashville.
I know I should wish you something but I just couldn't do it at the moment. But I have a curse instead. The best curse I could give is for you to REMEMBER ME everyday, every hour, every minute, every second for the rest of YOUR LIFE.

That way, you'll remember every little thing bout me and it will make you feel guilty. That's good enough. Have a good life.