Honestly...

I think that these things are too much for me. First of all I need my loved one to be honest with me. Seriously. Is it too much to ask? Maybe...

I am currently not in a stable mood. So, if anyone got offended in any way, please just let me know. Ok? I really cannot think straight right now.

I went out with Yee-Chan today. She is my best friend. So I think I shud tell her about my new a-lil-bit-bad-habit; clubbing. After that we went to the mall to watch movie. Since we still had like 1 hour 45 minutes before the show start, we decided to had snack at pizza hut.After a while, she wanted to call her brother but she ran out of credit. So, I offered mine.

After the phone call, Yee told me that her brother wanted her to remind me not to bring her to a 'weird place'. What was that supposed to mean? I texted him. Guess what the reply was. "Do not go clubbing, who knows that after Har got back from Malaysia, she lost her innocence"

Seriously... I lost my mood. Do I really look that criminal? Since Professional in Issues class, I tried to think more and keep my options open. So, to be honest, the first thing that I thought about was that I give bad influence to people around me.

If I think again, Fal would not go clubbing if it was not me who asked her to go at the first place. I was me who asked Len to went clubbing with me. Her boyfriend does not like it. Did I start all these? I never meant it. Girls... Did I create trouble to you?

I could not think and focus so I message Fal and asked her if I have given her bad influence in any way. Then she told me that I did not give any bad influence, it is all her decision to make whether or not she go clubbing and at least she knows about night life. I think that is also true. I am confuse now.

Another reason that I could think of is that Ben (Yee's brother) care about Yee, that is why he wanted to make sure that... (negatively) I won't take her to go clubbing with me. Which bring me back to think that I give people bad influence. Am I right?

Few people, I would not mention their names, keep giving allusions to me. Why dont they just say it to me? Straight forward. If they do care... IF they do care...

Now, I need help from my loved ones. Anything you would like to tell me? Anything at all? Please? If you do not think it would be appropriate to type it in my blog, send email to me or sms me. Thank you so much. Seriously. Thank you. I mean it. Thank you again..

I am so spoiled

I am really a bad girl gone worse...
Never thought this kind of thing will happen to me.
Was that happen because of me or because it is the nature for it to happen? All that I know is that I am super spoiled...

I just want people to love me for what I am. Will I ever get anyone like that? I hope so

Escape

The same thing that you do everyday. Boring.
The thing that stays at the same place everyday. Boring.
The same path that you take to go somewhere. Boring.
The same time you have to do something. Boring.
The same problem that you have to face everyday. Boring.

It is boring to do these things. Boring and sucks.
Sometimes I prefer not to have to do the same thing everyday but I just can't. We have to do that no matter what. Like... you have to eat everyday (unless you are in a diet program or kidnapped) and you have to bath everyday (which is important).

ed: I smells something bad...smells like shit...seriously...maybe it's the girl beside me...OMG...

Ok...back to my topic...SO....Im bored and I want to escape. A small escape will do me good. Like... just go to Starbucks and have a cup of tea.

ed: the shit smell is still there...I still can smell that...When I asked her, she said nope...she didnt step on anything

So...basically I just want to go away from things that I have to see and do everyday...

ed: I cannot concentrate...I need to go... smells damn bad

Random

I just feel like blogging...Please bear with me. Here are the few random things. And, I know I should upload more picture...And I will do so...just wait yea...

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I am going to perform at The Spring for the late night shopping program in which the mall (and the shops) open until 12 midnight. This late night shopping happen every saturday on the first week of every month. I am not performing every month. It is just this month. June. I am flattered, so to speak. I am actually very happy that we could perform outside Swinburne. I did perform for the Malaysian government during their sports week last time but that was not really happening. I will perform tomorrow 7 June 2008. If you are free, do drop by since sometime the shops are offering BIG discount.

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My Dad, Mom, and GrandMa are here. They are all here. My grandma... I could not believe that she is here. I am kinda have to behave a little bit. She knows that I am crazy. She knows that I am noisy. But still, I think I should at least reduce those habits while she is around. I prefer to dress more girly and not wearing my short pants as well. I will be screwed if she see me wearing a pants that short. And I am quite sure that she will say "oh my frekin god, dont you ashamed showing your fat thights?"... (in chinese...and I exaggerate a lil' bit).

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I want to do another project. Although I know it will make me stress (again). And, apparently, I got one. A project from my brother. He asked me to build a website for his company. A simple one he said. Well, I think I will post it up here once I am done with it.

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I want to lose weight. Not because I want to attract guy or whatsoever thing. I want to look good when I am dancing (that is one point) and I want to train my muscle, especially my arm because I want to be able to surf (that is the second point). Have I ever mentioned that I have the potential to have diabetes (not a good news...dont think shud have post it here). Therefore I should not be too fat because it higher the possibility of me getting diabetes (that is the third point). So, I have to lose some weight.

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I want to go to San Fransisco (no, I did not forget about Paris...It still is my number 1 priority). I want to go there not because Daniel is there but because I am playing a game called "Big City Adventure - San Fransisco" and I found out that SF is a beautiful city.

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I am very imaginative lately (not "that" kind of imagination). I imagine the life where I stay alone in my own apartment, working and have breakfast every morning. Grab my cup of tea (not coffee, I dont drink coffee). Wearing my formal suit and waiting for my MRT train. Well, those stuff... You know... I think I should work on what is matter now first then think of that.

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I am confused because I do not know who to trust. Mr J told me that Mr K is a liar. That he owed money to his friends (friendSSSS). That he told everybody about the dance party that he organized (I am the organizer). Mr K is one of my buddy. I do not know who to trust. Mr J was looking for Mr K to return his money but then Mr K said he will pay as soon as he get the profit from the dance party he organized. I dont dare to ask Mr K and I dont want to get involved in the problem between both of them so I better to keep my mouth closed.

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I just realized that I have been blogging for 1 year (not always update my blog tho). Happy anniversary... I will remember the date next year.

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I am going to the Spring now... I will post Random - part 2 some other time...

Im FREE... am I?

Well, finally I have finished my final project. I had my presentation yesterday. It was OK. Our client Mr.Wesley had been very nice for not giving any harsh comment.

Actually, loads of thing happened yesterday. We had a, so-called, rehearsal in the morning with our supervisor and the other final project students. It was horrible since our system was not running smoothly. There were loads of errors. And guess what. Mr. Wesley sent me a message saying that he would like to make it (presentation) earlier. O.o

*take a deep breath*
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

How am I supposed to fix all the problem when everyone was not around (they went home to change) and I only had 1 hour. Sh*t.

However, I managed to calm myself down since I am the leader and I could not panic when my team mates are. Luckily it went well =)

First I thought that I would be free after I get over with it. Yea, I do feel free but suddenly I feel empty. I have no more project to do. I do not have to contact my client anymore. I do not have to debug all the codes anymore. I think it is alright but then it is not alright at the same time.

If I do have a project next time, I will have to deal with new people and new project and new client and new... well... everything. Seems like I could not believe that it is over. 1 year is a long time. But it felt like it was yesterday when I met my client for the first time.

Anyway, I just want to say thank you to all of my team member (actually, I am not sure if they know that I blog). I have been such an a*s leader for 1 year. I have caused so much trouble and sorry for the days when I overslept and came late for the meeting. Thank you for everything =) Congratulation for the graduation and Wish you all the best for the job. Cya when I cya =)