First Love

Have you ever experienced first love? I think everyone do. Well, I do.

Love is different from any other term (eg. like). When you said you fall in love with someone, it is not your one-night-stand type of love. It is more to a pure feeling from you to someone.

I fall in love for the first time when I was at my Junior High School. That was year 2000. I feel in love with someone after knowing him for 6 months. His name is Daniel Bongso. My table was in front of his in the class. We became friend and I was lucky to know him. Not long after that I had a feeling for him but never meant to show it to him but it was obvious (one of my weakness... I cannot cover my feeling).

At the end of year 1 of Junior High, something happened. He started to avoid me. At year 2, we were in the different class. That make things even worse. At year 3, he moved to Singapore. Once I knew about it, I cried it out since I havent clarify things with him yet.

For the whole 3 years of Junior High, I did not notice other guy since my mind set on him alone. Neither on my first year of Senior High. On the second year, I was interested with someone in my class (could not mention his name here, sorry). But just when I thought I could remove him from my head, I received a message reply from him in friendster. That gave me butteflies in the stomach. There was nothing special about the message he sent me. It was just a message.

The next thing that I know, he rule my head again.

Move on to my university life. In such a big university with loads of freakin students I still cannot take him out of my freakin mind. What the hell is wrong?

What makes me post about this is because he just accepted my friend request on facebook. See? I think I am being too aggressive here. But our status for now is friend. And I am being friend here. I am not trying to go to far.

When I look at his profile I soon realized that I am not within his network. Not literally but... I mean... He lives in San Francisco. He drives to LA. He went to Miami for holiday. Who am I to be his friend? I know I should not think this way but he is wayyy to far (literally).

Until today, I have been in love with him gor 8 years. Wow.. A long time. I could not believe that I can actually love someone for that long.

What am I gonna do? I will tell him my feeling so that I can move on. I want to say this to him in person. I have waited for 8 years to say this so I can wait for little longer. I just want him to know. That's all. I expect nothing =)

Daniel and somebody

PS: Daniel, someday, if you read this, please excuse me for uploading your picture here. And if I haven say anything to you yet, please just pretend that you havent read this. If I've met you already... well... et tu sais (and you know).