Contradicting

The thing about this kind of relationship is...
I have these mix feelings going on in my head and struck my stomach. I am aware that he's not mine yet I claim he is. I didn't say I love him yet I couldn't get him out of my mind. I think I can handle things yet I am so spoiled with his presence. I said I will do just fine when he's not around yet I find myself sniffing his smell off his t-shirt. All things are contradicting.

However I am prepared. Any moment now that he might leave me. Chance that I might not see him live again. Possibility that he got bored of me.

...
Maybe Im not. I don't want him to go anywhere. I want to see him everyday. Is it love? I don't know...