When the world breaks down. I have this defense mechanism to act strong.
Loads of things going on in my mind at the moment...
1. The possibility of me with another human being
2. The possibility of me addicted to one
3. The fact that one is not alone
4. REALITY
One told me that he will arrive earlier which made me really happy because that means alot. Especially when I'm ADDICTED like hell. Turn out he has store opening for his 'another-one'. I am in the position where I should not complain. I should not say a thing because I am nobody......... but......... I am upset. I am sad. I am... um... loads of things.
I know he feel bad and all but like I said, I have defense mechanism and it starts automatically. Waiting for the time when the defense mechanism wears off and break down...
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