Guess what..

Walked away... Won me then!
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That Guy

Is a Kuching guy. He first added me on FB. He has loads of frens in common with me and I couldn't remember who he was. So I approved and browse his profile for any clue of who he was.

He was online though. So when I approved his request, he buzzed me up. We talked and I asked him if I knew him. "I used to see u at the Spring or met you at BarZing" when he said that, I got more curious. We chat somemore and I found out that he's a dancer, but still no idea where I could have seen him. I saw his picture and he look kinda tall so I asked him for his height. "Taller than you", he said. Feeling intimidated I replied "How the hell would you knw that you are taller than me?". "I talk to you before"....... Now that's creepy coz I have no idea who he was.

Anyway, I met him on January during my visit to Kuching... And we hung out. And... Well we hung out.

The thing is... He reminds me a lot of Ian and that kinda scares me.
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I don't make sense

I am such a stupid when it comes to love. How to get me fall in love wif you is to love me first. Shower me with attention and I'm yours. I'm so damn easy and stupid. This tends to get me into trouble. Ian is one damn gOod example.

Now that the lesson has been learned, I try my best to have fun and "fuck around" (in my own terms).

Now when I have one, I feel awkward. I don't kiss my friend. I really don't. But so far, I did. We are friends as in sharing stories n all but we are 'friends' in another sense. Hmm? Wtf am I talking about?

I don't make sense. I feel bad doing this. Owh damnnn
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2009 is coming to an end

It has been a year full of life lesson for me. It has been great. It has been wonderful. It has been the worst of my life too.

It was wonderful because I met Ian Nashville. I got to love someone after 9 years stuck with Daniel. And unbelievably, I love Ian more than anyone I had crush with. It was a nice feeling, loving Ian. It was nice to once feel the feeling of being loved.

I was the worst of my life because I got my heart broken into pieces and although anyone can fix it, it's not gonna be da same. It left a big scar. Noticeable. Still gonna hurt. I was blank for few months because of this. Who would have thought I will have such a dramatic life? Haha. Life is so unpredictable.

It has been a magical number 6 this year. Everything that I do. Anywhere I go, I will have this number following me. I think it must like me so much so it left Ian.

I just hope I will have a more exciting year in 2010. No more Ian... Back to the cheerful Haryati :) ......... At least I hope so.

Thank you for everything 2009 :)
I will miss you.
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Play it nice

I didn't expect someone could really turn into such evil. Especially him.

I'm going to Kuching on January. Never did I expect that. Didn't see it coming. My dad rang me on "Sunday" and asked me to ask for leave frm office on "January" because he wants me to go to "Kuching". See the connection? Fack (there is no dispelling here). I just can't run away from going back to da things that reminds me of you.

I called my bro DJ 68 and asked for his favor. Less that I know he would told me something shocking instead.
Him: just be honest wif me sist.. Were u with him?
Me: yea
Him: then he lied to me... A lot
Me: what? Wtf? Wat did he say?

Shit. Fack. He talk behind my back. And not the reality. He's been hiding the truth under the clinquant leaves of himself. Fack. Fack. Fack. This is the thing that I hate the most. I promised myself he would regret if he ever, EVER... Say something untrue and bad bout da relationship we had. Fack. I don't like this.

Andre told me that he's going back to Jakarta soon. Which means he won't be there when I'm around. Again and again, he successfully run away frm me.

It's ok. Ian whom I love has died. This guy who happened to hav da same name is crazy. And he's messing wif me. Hmmm. No no no. Dats not a right move... You better apologize before it get worse. Play it nice... Play it nice...
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I miss...

When I decided to forget you, I miss you even more. What should I do, Ian?
I miss that green car that we drove when I was around.
I miss hanging out at KFC with you.
I miss being in a club watching you spinning n droppin dope beats.
I miss hugging you from da back...
I miss holding ur hands, though you know my hands are sweaty n gross.
I miss messing up your hair when you're driving.
I miss your smell.
I miss you...

It's raining, Sir... You love the rain but again, you know me, I don't like being alone in the rain. I used to have you... I used to...

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Love is in the air

I know it's not Valentine's day. I know this is not xmas as well. And I absolutely aware that this is not a special day.

Apart of all those facts, I think da love is in the air :)

My dear friend, Yennie is now officially Willy's gf. I didn't expect this couple cos I didn't even know that they were close. Durrh. I'm so outdated. I'm too lost in my own Ian Nashville world. It's like I live in his shadow. Anyway, I asked Yennie bout it. Didn't get the whole romantic story tho. Hahaha. I'm happy for her. Wish them all da best n happily ever after. Just like fairytale ;D

And my lovely Lennie is now with Nish. Haha. Damn lame couple. I love em (apart frm those weird terms Lennie taught Nish). I can't help but smile whenever I think of them. Haha. Lame couple... All da best for you yea :D

Not to be forgotten, Yola, who I love so much, and my bro, Muita. These two... Haha. I'm out of words but I love them too. I enjoy evry moment with them (even when they are lame-ing). Haha. Owh yea, of course they are lame because this couple n da lame couple above is da same. Duurrhh. I miss having dinner at Rasa-Rasa :)

As for someone... Miss B (from my previous posts). I've been trying to say this to her but I just couldn't get it out frm my mouth... You're still my friend. You've been through bad times. You screwed up almost everything. And now you have someone who loves you. Mayb now you could appreciate love more... I think this is a reward for you after what you've been through. Try not to ruin stuff. K? Appreciate what you have. Try to be real. The next thing I'm gonna say is gonna hurts.. Be prepared or just skip it if you don't. You know you have loads of guys queuing to be with you. PLEASE. This time around, be real. Be with them only if you really feel the same. Remember, there might be someone out there who love dat guy so much. Like what I've told you. For you Ian might be nobody but for ME, IAN means EVERYTHING. Got it? Good luck Miss B. If you happen to read ths, feel free to tell me what you think.

As for myself, I'm taking baby steps. Slow, but sure. I hope I can get back to my old self.

With Love - Har
(since it's my 'love is in the air' post *wink*)
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