This is what I call not balance....

Something is not right with me. Sometimes I feel very confident. On the other time I feel terrible.

20 minutes ago I was so sure about da song remix that Im goin to use. And then now after talking to someone. I LOST all my confidence. I was all excited because I wanted to choreograph a dance. An opening dance. But now, I dun feel like it anymore...

Maybe I should just let the choreography part to Daniel. Seriously. He is much more better than me. I dun think I should choreo any dance. Maybe I should just stick to my current position... "organizing chairperson" who should organize... and not choreograph a dance... =(

dats why people call it FALLING in Love

I think from all the person that I know... Im the only one who can fall in love as easy as I turn my head...

I fell in love when a guy is nice to me (although he is nice to evryone)
I fell in love when a guy do something sweet to me (although it meant nothing to him)
I fell in love when a guy make me laugh off my tears (although he just dun wanna see people cry)
I fell in love when a guy is smart (although that's the way he is)
I fell in love when I feel like it...

Alright? See? I fell in love as easy as that. Anyone can suggest anything that I can do to stop this kind of behaviour?

And after IoLa told me that she always fell in love with a guy that she knew she couldnt get... It came to my mind that I always fell in love in a guy that I already know that he doesnt like me. See the pattern herE? =.=

A Talk With Mr. Patrick

All this time, I keep thinking that Mr. Patrick is a nice person, not a nice lecturer. But now I think I should add one more. He is a nice friend. Why? I had a talk with him this morning and truly speaking, before the session start I was kinda nervous. I thought he would say something bad like "I dont think you can pass this project unless you try harder" or maybe even more extreme "I think you will have to repeat the subject again next semester". However, he didnt.

Instead, he told me something (I couldnt believe I say this) inspiring. He taught me how to be a good leader. He said I should give an example and try to build a good harmony with my team member. Well, yea... I will try to do that. As the matter of fact, all this time I dont dare to admit that all those problems are my fault. Now, I could see the problem from different point of view. It seems to be me the one who messed up everything...It is me who failed to be a leader. And, I admit that.

For now, I have a very good view of everything and I dont feel like saying anything since I dont want to change my view again. I am very easy to be convinced. So I dont want to hear any suggestion first... Maybe I will, later.

Alright, it is time for me to fix the mess that I created. Wish me luck everybody =)

letter to a FRIEND

Dear my lovely friend...
I love you more than you think I am. It is hard for me to describe what I felt. It is a hard time for you... and what makes it worst is I could not be by your side. I wish I could just stay at your side and just stay there so when you need me, I will be just there.

I tried to understand how you feel, but no... I couldnt. That is the feeling that only you could understand. But I know it is hard for you. I could see that from your eyes. I could see you losing your ground but I could see that you are holding on tight with one hand... Hope we could take another hand of yours and pull you back...

If I make you think that I dont care about you, Im sorry, didnt mean to. Come back, and I will not leave your side anymore...

Hugz...

Loads to say

There are loads of things to say. Load of things had happened. Wanted to update the blog but seems like the time wont allow me to do so.

Loads of happy things yet loads of sad things. I was expecting those blue sky to destress me. Seems like the sky is busy too so it got depress as well since it never show its blue color...

Hope to see that blue color soon. And I hope I can update everything soon. And... Hope everyone has a good day~

Back to Kuching (again)

Now, Im sitting in front of the pc in the library. Then I think now Im back to Kuching already. I have a resit test in half an hour. Wish me luck, k? Seems like my stomach will explode or something. I just dun feel right. Is it because Im nervous? Anyway... I need to go to the toilet. Cya all =p

Chinese New Year

Happy Chinese New Year for everyone who is celebrating =)

Im now in Indonesia for this Chinese new year celebration. My sister is here. My brother and his wife is coming. Now seems like everyone's gonna be here. Im so happy..... and worry at the same time. Well, since I got 1 resit and my revision is not a good news. I have 6 more chapters to go. I should put more effort on this. I don't wanna fail that stupid subject...No way. If I have to see Raymond's face again, Im going to commit suicide.

Me and my sister bought loads of fireworks. I think this time, the celebration is gonna be fun. My family is complete. All of them are here (extra my sister in law and my sister's friend). And we have (more than enough) fireworks. So, I think it's gonna be fun =)

Anyway, let's talk about childhood. I had a talk with my mom and she told me about my childhood. Im going to start with my birth day, the day I was born into the world. My mom told me that my dad was nervous and worry and he slept in the car. Once he heard the baby crying, he went in straight away. After I've been cleaned up, he hold me and was very happy.

My mom said that I am a very lucky girl. I can help to think that I cannot give anything in return. Loads of things had happened in the family, and I have no idea about that. Actually, most of them are bad things. Things happened for a reason. But still cannot help to think something bad. Can I give them something in return? Let's see.